What is a Hero?

Some of the definitions of a "Hero" include: 1) a man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength; 2) someone who shows courage in the face of a problem or danger, etc.

Why am I writing this? Because after a week of almost non-stop coverage of the death of Michael Jackson, the details of his memorial, and now, the questions of how much the city of Los Angeles paid towards it. Frankly I'm a little frustrated with all of the attention that is being paid to one individual when there are so many "hero's" that walk among us, often with no one to walk in front of them declaring their great actions.

It isn't that I don't think MJ didn't affect many with his music and style... but certainly our daily life is effected more by the bus drivers that get kids to school safely; the soldiers who leave behind family and friends to travel to far off places and protect those they don't know; the doctor who takes extra time with their patients to make sure they understand their medical diagnoses and how to properly take the medicines... the list could go on.

Why is it, that our culture puts so much value on those with great visibility and often wealth... and we think if someone meets those standards than surely the individual is worthy of so much attention as they are clearly doing great things... and yet we walk by those doing truly heroic things everyday when we go to get our coffee and we say nothing in appreciation.
I'll spare you the list of all the people in my life that I think are hero's, mainly because it would only embarrass them and I don't want to do that.
This post is as much for me as it is to you the reader... a challenge to remember who our hero's truly are... and to not wait until they are gone to show our appreciation for them.

What is a Gluten?

Okay... so recently some of you know I found out I have Celiac Disease and can no longer have gluten's. What you probably don't know, is how hungry and frustrated I've been since learning that diagnoses... because I'm still trying to figure out what I can and can't eat. For years I have been misdiagnosed by doctors and so learning what the root issue is... should be thrilling. But right now I'm still overwhelmed. Thankfully I have found a lot of information online, and I'm seeing a nutritionist after the holiday to learn how to build a menu and shop for my vegetarian - gluten free needs. And all the while... I am struggling with the thought of how to tell my bf's mom who is a phenomenal cook and baker... I can't have any of her creations because they contain wheat, rye and barley.

The doctor gave me a brochure and book that suggests I hand the following to family and servers at restaurants... and I just feel so darn picky!

The card reads: The Following Make Me Extremely Sick...

Wheat, Barley, Oats, Rye, flour, egg noodles, beer, MSG, sauces thickened with flour, tamari, soy sauce, teriyaki, matzo, couscous, bulgar, seitan, wheat germ, caramel coloring, "natural flavors", bouillon cubes, chicken or soup stocks, malt, hydrolyzed vegetable protein, natural/artificial flavorings, general starches, maltodextrin, distilled vinegar, packaged spices that come in bulk, and anything whose ingredients are not known.

Oh...and please use clean utensils, pots, pans, and surfaces that have not been used for any other food. Please use fresh water/oil that has not been used for any other food.

UGH!!!

Even I don't want to go to lunch with me at this point! Clearly this post is part venting... part request for help. How do I handle those situations where I'm going to someones house for dinner... and I need to let them know of my restrictions, but I don't want to be rude.

I've never been high maintenance with my vegetarian choice... but now I'm starting to feel that way.

In the mood for a little Disney Fix...

You know I'm in the mood for a little Disney fix when I start dressing up the dog in Mickey Mouse ears! I'm not sure what it is, but this time every year, at the onset of summer... I find myself really, really wanting to go to Disneyland. Maybe it's one of those things that stick with you from childhood?

With my birthday coming up, I find myself really wanting to go there with D., even if it means he'll find out what a total dork I really am! It is not an exaggeration to say, that I literally skip from the parking lot to the front gates. The lines don't even bother me so much when I can snuggle up with someone who makes me laugh so much. And... right about 4pm I start to feel ready for a nap. But by 8 or 9 I'm back up and eagerly awaiting the fireworks show. Never fails, I'll crash out on the way home...

What is it about Disneyland that can make an almost 30 year old woman act like a kid again?? I'm not sure... but I'm happy to go again and again, with the hope of finding out!

Spring and Sunday Baseball Games...

Few things make me smile as much as a lazy Sunday, complete with a either a baseball game or a nascar race with Dan. Well... today I got a little bit of everything I love and more. Friday afternoon after a grueling week and an ungodly number items on my "to-do" list... I found myself holding four tickets to today's Angels game (thanks Boss!!). Small gesture, but the hint was noted... I needed a break. A quick call to Dan, who agreed to forgo his usual Sunday of riding and working the horses & Miss Jenna-bug cleared her schedule of grading papers... and we were all set. We listened to the race on the radio as we headed down the 91 and educated Jen on the finer details of the great sport of NASCAR. And we spent the afternoon watching a great game (Go Angels!) and laughing a lot. And for a minute... I forgot that my best friend (Jen) is going to be moving in 7 weeks. :(

Cool breezy days and close friends near... after several years in pursuit of something... education, experience, stuff, etc... I'm still in pursuit of adventure and success... but I can only do so because of the days off like today. Good friends are a bit like a good baseball game... both are full of highs and lows, cheers and wake-up calls... and both are there when you need a break and a good time.

And so now I sit... wondering how to send my friend off on her next adventure that shows how thankful I am for all the days like today that I've gotten to have?

Gardening...

Gardening...

When I was younger one of the quickest ways my parents could punish me was to have me outside, in the heat, pulling weeds, planting, trimming, spraying, etc alongside of them. I hated it. I could never understand why anyone in there right mind would spend a perfectly good weekend doing such arduous chores. Until now...

I've lived with roommates, on my own, and now with a roommate (my younger sister... ). My love of plants and flowers has always existed, I just never liked the chores that went along with it. Until now... unfortunately this drives my sister nuts. While I think they add lovely colors along the path to our door... to her, they are a waste of time, and a encourager of bugs.

I wish I could explain to her that I do not plant to annoy her... it is my quiet time. Fountain sounds creating a relaxing audible background for a Sunday of digging, potting, etc... is a nice exchange from phone calls, no-shows, and sitting in traffic 5 days a week.

Strange how it is now her instead of I that finds all of this annoying... but now I also understand why my parents must also enjoy it. It is a quiet opportunity to reflect and figure out what went wrong the week before, what can be done (if anything to fix it), and how to do things differently going forward. I wonder what other traits that used to bother me I'll adopt??

March Already?

Wow... how is it March already! I seem to be going from busy week to busier weekend with no ability to slow down the train. Actually I take that back, when sitting in slow moving traffic... I guess I'm not that busy. Just irritated.
While sitting in traffic I had the thought, "Is this all there is? Is this what it means to be an adult?"

I find myself wrestling with that a bit more each day. I have a job that I love, clients who appreciate what I do, family and friends close by (and thanks to facebook, spread-out), a fantastic boyfriend who loves me and shows it everyday... and yet... something is missing. I feel like I should be doing more.

When I graduate college, the quest was to find a job making lots of money so I could pay off student loans, buy a new car and maybe even a house. Now... almost 4 years later... student loan invoices still arrive each month (ugh), still have the same car and despite the fact that it is 10 yrs old, it's a Toyota with 230,000 and still no major overhauls needed... it still gets me around. Oh... and I live in an apartment.

Two years ago I started to watch friends buying newer BMW's, 4,000 sq ft homes, and fantastic shoes (hey, we all have our thing, that's mine.) and it made me feel as if I was lagging in "growing up dept." But still, I couldn't make myself spend irresponsibly (well... except for those fabulous Kate Spades... that was irresponsible but still lovely.) And now, I have 6 friends going thru foreclosure, 3 going thru a divorce, several stressing every month how they'll stay on top of things... and wondering how they got to that point. And I don't mean this to sound judgemental at all... but I feel extremely lucky I didn't go down that path.

And so all of this brings me back to my original thought... is this all there is?
If nothing else, I hope this current downturn in our economy snaps people out of the trance of just buying things and collecting more stuff. Maybe the historians will look back on this time as a period of introspection, when we realized that stuff (and the pursuit of stuff) while fun for awhile, isn't filling and doesn't make us better people.

So... besides work, family and friends... I'm now looking for that other component I seem to be missing. Any suggestions where it might be found?

The Beginning...

Well, it was inevitable I guess that at some point I would forgo my long tradition of keeping journals for a more high-tech form of marking time. At 28 (and a 1/2) I find I am looking closer to 30 than 20 and that has started an ever-changing stream of thoughts. The goal of this exercise (personally) is to track and at times even relish the changes that are coming down the road. This way, I have less ink on my hand, am leaving less of a carbon foot print (see Gore... us republicans have a heart) , and am leaving myself wide open for review and comment, as I'm sure that you (the reader) are smarter than I about that which I am about to experience.

At present, I find myself wondering what my 30's will bring. Will I be the Mom carting around kidlets to various lessons, team sports, play-dates, etc... or will I go down the path of the career-driven woman... (I like to imagine I'm more Oprah than Martha in that scenario.)

It is my hope that it will in fact not be a choice, but a gift. A blend of both, creating variety and keeping me always on my toes. For those that are on this ride currently, I welcome your comments and insights, provided that they are not mean-spirited. Or involved reminiscing about how Neon t-shirts used to be "in" and how you happen to have several pictures of me wearing said shirts from that period I'll only refer to as, " hey... it was the 80's... everyone looked bad!"